When I Turn 50, I'm Running Away From Home

Bumper Stickers

2011-04-02T14:30:00.000-04:00

A couple of years ago, my friend Chris sent me this picture on a sticker for my truck.

Recently, my son has decided that driving the truck is way cooler than driving the station wagon he's been driving for the past year. The only problem, my Bubba bumper sticker makes him worry what other high schoolers will think of him. He borrowed my truck a couple of months ago. When I got it back, black electrical tape crisscrossed my very funny sticker!

It seems my bumer sticker will soon be removed from my faithful truck. Before it could be scraped away and tossed in the trash, I checked the bottom of the sticker for links. I'm ordering another to go on the back of my 1995 Mercedes Station Wagon.

The idea of this sticker just makes me laugh! We've all seen the mudflaps on the back of trucks with the woman in this same pose, maybe a little more spread-eagle, and looking much sleezier. When I first got this sticker, my youngest asked if it meant I liked fat chicks. When I pointed out the baseball cap and beard, he only nodded and left the room.

Should you find this as entertaining as I do, you can order your very own at Bubba the Trucker! I ordered two. One will go on the car I'm driving when I run away from home!

Camera Shopping

2011-03-27T17:07:00.013-04:00

I've always carried my camera in my purse. When something interesting happens, I whip it out and snap my shot. A couple of weeks ago on my way to work, I saw a wild turkey guarding the door of a car. Since the sight struck me as unusual and funny, I grabbed my camera and started lining up my shot. It wouldn't work. The batteries were fresh. The dials weren't on any weird settings. The lens opened. The button you mash to take the picture wouldn't do its job.

I'm thinking that floating around in the bottom of my purse for a couple of years, intermingling with gum wrappers, loose change, hotwheels and renegade lipsticks might not have bee the best thing for my digital Nikon.

So, before I run away from home, I need to have a good camera. I would love one that has a zoom lens so I can get a shot of the turkey from my car window but look like I'm standing right next to it. I don't mind getting closer for the shot, but if I'm running away from an attacking turkey, I'll only have panick shots!

Instead of having to charge the camera, I want it to operate on double A batteries. I already have so many chargers, my bread box looks like somebody dumped a wirey bowl of spaghetti in there. Of course, it has to have a lot of space on the chip. I love to take photos of things that make me smile!

Like this...

I get behind this car several times a week on my way to work. It never fails to make me smile. I don't know why, it just does!

The main thing I need in a new camera, it has to be idiot proof! If I have to flip three buttons and twist knobs to switch from video to photo, it's too hard.

Let's recap:

Sturdy enough to travel in the bottom of my pocket book
AA battery charged
Zoom Lens
Huge memory chip
Idiot proof
Under $500

That's not asking too much, is it?

Where to?

2011-03-24T21:08:00.000-04:00

There are many places I want to go. Some are goofy. Some are mystical. Some are a curiosity. Many come from settings in books.

This won't be my first stop but is definitely on my list! I learned about this place from a wonderful book I read. It's called Backseat Saints by Joshilyn Jackson. I love Jackson's southern voice and sense of humor! Rose Mae Lolley, the heroine of the book, finds a message from her mother spray painted on one of the cars at Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, Texas. Oddly enough, Rose Mae's mama ran away from home when Rose Mae was just a baby. (I chose to run away when I turn 50 because I figure the folks who NEED me then can at least wait a month or two while I go off and see the world on my own!)

I'll have to do a little more research on this place! From the photos I've found, it appears to be about 10 Cadillac cars planted hood down. They are buried up to their windshields, back tires raised high! Visitors have spray painted messages of love, drawn pictures, posted graffiti...whatever inspired them. Messages on the cars seem to be very short-lived. You never know when the next message will cover the one written yesterday.

I think I'll choose a bright blue paint and add messages to my boys on one of the cars. Maybe I'll wish them good grades. Maybe I'll praise their efforts in life. Maybe I'll wish them the love of their lives. Maybe I'll confess my love for them forever.

The Back Story

2011-03-21T21:21:00.003-04:00

About 10 years ago, I must have been about 35 at the time, I read a book that created my plan for my 50th birthday. The book was The Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg. Nan, the main character, turned 50 and ran away from home. I plan to do the same thing when I turn 50. I have about 4 and a half years to plan and pack. Unlike her, I'm not leaving an unhappy life!

Of course, my husband thinks I've lost my mind! But, as the mother of two boys, I have spent the last 20 years "going along." When I suggest a quick stop at an antique store or yard sale, you should hear the whining coming from the back seat. A suggestion that we park and walk along the river we're driving over is met with a rush to get home. Let me strike up a conversation with a stranger and watch the huffing breath and eye rolling begin! Tony prefers music from the 80's. The boys like top forty. I like country. My favorite button on the radio dial rarely gets mashed!

Elizabeth Berg visited Quail Ridge Books several years ago. I had her sign a copy of The Pull of the Moon and inscribe it, "It's all my fault!" If you haven't read any of Elizabeth's books, you have to give her a try. Her humor is fabulous. She reminds me of a happy Jodi Picolt. I plan to leave the inscribed book on Tony's pillow on August 10, 2015.

So, welcome along on my journey as I plan to run away from home!